Goodbye 2013..Hello 2014

It’s been a while so I thought I would start the new year with a review of 2013.

Musically, I continued to help out with the live work for Tokyo Witch Hunt. Highlights included performing at Donkaster Electronische Freundschaft and Boons in Wakefield. Great audiences at both. Performing new material has breathed new life in to the set.

Tokyo Witch Hunt - After Dark

Now with glasses!



A pensive moment on the keyboards at The Fenton, Leeds

At The Pack Horse, Leeds

 

Tokyo Witch Hunt

I started finishing half-written songs. Natubella and Diane Huarte of SHH to name but two individuals that I will be collaborating with in 2014. Peachy are still deciding what to do, as ever, though some of our songs are in the process of being remixed and re-recorded by Lee Greveson. Sounding good.

Athletically, it’s been a bit of a weird year. A very busy schedule of aquathlons, triathlons  and straight forward runs and swims has taken it’s toll on my poor frame. Injuries have ranged from simple calf strains to the inevitable bike fall causing damage to my ribs and psoas muscles. As a result, I am not 100% fit. However, I have still managed to take 5 seconds off my 100m breakstroke personal best in the South Yorkshire Masters and break 25 mins for a 5km run at the hilly Concord Park run event. I also entered my first half marathon and managed, just, under 2 hours on a scorching hot day in Mablethorpe.

 

 

And they're off!
Mablethorpe Half Marathon.

Finish Line dash at the Mablethorpe Half Marathon

Zumba warm-up before Kirkwood Hospice 10k Trail Run



Racing with the best (and chasing each other around the pool) at Wombourne Aquathlon. Jodie Stimpson - World Championship runner-up 2013

Moss Valley Madness 10k Trail run

Bassetlaw Triathlon. Copyright?

Christmas Day Park run at Concord

Down at the Hollin Bush all is not well. The owner is letting things slip. No beer, no customers. Hence, I have been frequenting the Mile Stone at Crystal Peaks. I still think, given the vocabulary used, that Tourettes sufferers are regulars in these two pubs. Don’t even get me started on people that stand in the entrance foyer and smoke.

Anyway, I thought the best way to sum up 2013 was to let a few pictures do the talking.

Happy New Year and best wishes for 2014 to all.

Charles "Crash" Atlas?

Ashington Triathlon - Quite literally in the land of my Father's

My athletic season is up and running and despite not pulling up any trees, I feel fit, healthy and injury-free. This corroborates what my recent health check results were saying. Chloresterol levels lower, glucose levels lower, BP satisfactory. My risk of heart attack in next ten years has come down to just 8%. Diabetes risk – no issues. My weight has levelled despite my high level of activity due to muscle mass increase.
 

I went to buy a new suit for work earlier this week. Normally I fit a 40 inch chest. Incredibly I am now a 44 inch chest size. I have swimmer shoulders, a runners core and erm… hybrid legs. I am certainly not fitting the lean athlete description. I’m more of the bulk V-shape which is good for strength but doesn’t help my times in terms of streamlining or mass having to be carried around in a race.
 

 

Speaking of races, so far this year I have taken part in the David Lloyd Lincoln triathlon, the Southwell triathlon, the Ashington triathlon and aquathlons in Burtwood and Wrekin College. Although I am still hovering towards the rear at finishes I am pleased with my improved performances, primarily as a result of good fitness and more experience of racing at this level. Particularly I have benefited from much improved cycling times as a result of the new bike, the Triban 3. There is a four week waiting list for these bikes as I type because of their great value/great performance attributes. Swimming technique is more focussed resulting in improved race times but running still could be better.

 

 

Next up is the Rother Valley triathlon.  It will be my first triathlon with an open water swim. I did the 1500m Big Swim at the lake there last year and the water stinks to high heaven with duck droppings. The weeds tangle around the legs there too. A fellow competitor got in to difficulties and I swam with him for a while to make sure he was ok.

 

 

Whilst doing a run training session from home to Rother Valley, a chap on a bike spotted my David Lloyd Tri t shirt. He had competed in Lincoln too so we got chatting. It was nice to be spotted as triathlete among triathletes however modest my abilities.

 

 

I am no longer a novice triathlete though. That mantle has been taken on by the chap I saw doing the running leg of the Ashington triathlon with his bike helmet on. Oh dear!


Musically, I performed with Peachy for the first time in 2 years a few weeks ago. There were a few technical issues but otherwise it was decent performance. It was nice to see Dad there too who hasn't been in the best of health lately. Izzie and I continue to rehearse and perform with TWH. all fine on that front.

 

Now about that charity fire walk I have signed up for down at the Hollin Bush…….

 

 

 

 



If you see Sid, tell him...

"I wish I'd never told Sid"

It’s strange how I get a massive spike in hits from China at the same time that my blog gets hacked, isn’t it?  Now, I’ve deleted all the dodgy html code that had been added I can get things updated.

I seem to have hit a plateau in my fitness. In fact, it is deteriorating, which makes me think health issues again. I haven’t been fully fit since November and I just can’t seem to shake one or two issues off. Consequently, my times are markedly much poorer than they should be at this point or indeed what they were 6 months ago. However, at Easter, I had a Forrest Gump moment and just kept running and running. 20km of canal trail between Worksop and Ranby was very liberating. Flat, quiet and scenic.

I’ve managed a couple of Aquathlons this year; Burntwood (snowed) and Sandwell. The Sandwell event (confusingly at Cradley Heath) was a particularly cruel course. Needless to say, with the way I have been feeling, I didn’t pull up any trees with my time and positions. Next up is the first Triathlon of the year, Lincoln. I’m far from prepared for it but I will do my best. I’ll see if things pick up in the next few weeks. If not, I will be visiting the doctor again.

 

……………………..
Tokyo Witch Hunt played a great gig in Leeds after taking the Winter off.  A second gig there had to be cancelled because of the heavy snowfall. Further gigs are in the pipeline but I am struggling with my scheduling at the minute.

……………………………
So Thatcher is dead but even in death she is still shafting the nation at a time of austerity. £8 million to dispose of her is abhorrent. My suggestion is to strap her to a missile for delivery to Mr Kim Jong-un.  

From my window I can see the wasteland that was Orgreave Coking plant and the fields above the railway line where the miners were brutalised. I went to school with children from year-long striking families. I also went to school with someone who sat alongside myself and those children that is now a current sitting Conservative MP and who will be in the House of Commons today listening to Thatcher tributes.

Has privatisation of utilities, the railway, the steelworks, the mines and sale of council houses made a difference? Yes. It has closed down GB as a manufacturing nation, driven up costs of energy and travel, killed off coal and steel communities, created a shortage of housing and put unemployment at 3 million.

 Don’t even get me started on the Poll Tax. I refused to pay it and duly received a court summons which was a point of principal that had to be seen through.

 Thatcherism repulsed me and I have never voted Conservative nor ever will.

 If you see Sid, tell him!



Where you from you sexy thing? Erm..Sheffield!

I did my volunteering stint at Park Run last week but I missed running, not least because I was freezing stood still. I had time keeping responsibility for all the runners and fortunately all the data transferred from the timer gadget to the website ok. Phew!

Each Saturday morning I drive past Shiregreen WMC, which is just a stone’s throw away from Concord Park Run. This is where the final “stripping” scenes were filmed for the Full Monty. It dawned on me that I have several close connections with the Full Monty filming locations.

The old Burton Street school used in the film was formerly the Langsett Music Centre where I studied music. I used to love doing a bit of Dave Brubeck’s Unsquare Dance and Take Five on the battered double bass there. I had some talented peers sat alongside me in those classes. Marcos Lopez-Iglesias (played sessions for Duran Duran, Limahl) and Bill Sutton (fabulous jazz pianist) immediately spring to mind.

As a boy, I lived fairly near to the hills of Parkwood Springs that rose above Neepsend and the old Woodhead railway line. Latterly, this was the site of a dry ski village, but in my youth it was a great place to go climbing up to the old gun battery (which protected against air strikes on the steelworks below during the Second World War) or go for a terrifying downhill bike ride. In the film, this where Robert Carlyle sits smoking while doing a training run as the ginger haired bloke tries to kill himself with car exhaust fumes.

Full Monty location - Parkwood Springs (www.onlinegreencity.com)

And then there is the former ASDA supermarket at Orgreave (next to the site of the bitter Battle of Orgreave during the 1984 Miner’s Strike). Though now relocated further uphill following the Walmart takeover, this was/is still my local big supermarket. In the film, one of the characters is a security guard here.

…………………….

I’ve now managed to get out on my new bike, the Triban 3, for the first time this year. I had a good 35km ride to Poolsbrook and back (site of my infamous head-first over the handlebars and roll down the dirt track into a crowd of young mums and their children calamity).

On the way, travelling towards me in the opposite direction, I was humbled by a blind cyclist riding alongside another cyclist. I’m pleased that my resolution of being more tolerant of perceived ignorance held fast. I was heading for a collision and just about to scream a profanity for them hogging the width of the track until I realised the situation.

 After you, sir!

When I got there, I sat down for a quiet coffee and sandwich, only for a female cyclist puffing on a cigarette to come up to me and say how brave I was to have cycling shorts on in the cold and that she admired my bike. I’m not usually known for my patience, especially not when knackered and muddy from my arse to my head, but I did make conversation for a while to be polite in the hope she would leave me alone.

I'm trying to be less grumpy.

Chocolate Beaches, Dim Students and Witch Hunting

More classic eyebrow raising conversations whilst drinking my beer in the Hollin Bush….

A: I got offered work in Brazil once but I turned it down

B: What and miss the Cocoa Cobana?

and later in the same conversation….

A: There are a lot of slums in Brazil. They call them Gavelas you know.

(Favelas – good try though)

………………..

I do wonder if it’s just me being over read in trivia or whether education has really plummeted. I watched University Challenge last night on television. With ten minutes to go, Bangor were leading University College, London by 100 points to zero but still managed to lose. I felt sorry for mature student, Tomlinson, in the Bangor team for having to put up with his other team members being so dim. I answered more questions correctly than the lot of them, screaming the answers at the tv.  Yes I know the Italian origins of the word “madrigal”, characters in operas such as Dido, and that Triton is a moon of Neptune. So why don’t you?

…………….

I’ve been doing some long distance training in the pool, 2km stretches, to build my endurance. I’m disappointed that my first Aquathlon of the year in Halesowen has been cancelled due to lack of numbers though. I may do a 10km road race instead that day. Still no opportunity due to the snow and ice to get on my bike for a good ride either.

………………………….

Rehearsals start again tomorrow for my contribution to the live set up of Tokyo Witch Hunt. We have a gig at the beginning of March in Leeds and no doubt Izzie will be plugging the album.

Better go find my guitar…and cables… and amp and…

Kicking Up A Stink

Down at the local pool....not!

I got asked to a jam night at The Springvale Pub. The fact that I got blisters playing proves how long it is since I picked up a guitar. Anyway, it’s always nice to play with a live band. There were five of us who had never played together, nor even met each other before the night. However, we rocked out to Roll Over Beethoven, I Saw Here Standing There and, of course, Johnny B Goode. Made a nice change.

Sticking with music, I called Sheffield Arena Box Office to get tickets to see The Who. All were gone within an hour of going on sale except the crappy seats. Would have been nice to see them again but I’m not that desperate. Another time, maybe.

After a pool workout the other day, a young chap came up to me in the Reception area and asked me if I swam every day and if I did triathlons. He was impressed with my swimming. This was quite an ego boost for me. I’m far from the finished article but the compliment was a good feeling.

I managed 25:18 at the 5km Park Run. This was the 100^th at Concord. It was quite windy and cold. I was trying to go sub 25 mins but I went off too hard at the start and flagged a little towards the end. Next week!

Back in the pool on Sunday morning, I managed 2km amidst the bingo-winged chatterboxes doing breadths whilst navigating beach balls and such like. However, it was the first time I had ever smelt someone’s perfume whilst having my head under water. The smell was pungent enough to be so noticeable under 6 feet of chlorinated water. That’s what I call strong perfume! Why do women wear perfume and makeup to go swimming?  

 Bizarre.

Trains, Pigs and Who?

Because of the snow, I took the train to work a couple of times last week, walking a couple of miles to the village station to catch a connection train in the City Centre. I enjoy rail journeys (as well as the fact that Sheffield Midland station pub has a very comprehensively stocked selection of cask ales for the return journey). 

Wintry Sheffield Woodhouse Station

 

My ticket was checked by Lisa. Her name badge described her as Revenue Enforcement Officer. I wonder what happened to Train Guards or Conductors. Probably got lost in the era of rail privatisation. Anyway, the Destination Facilitator (Train Driver) got me to my intended location in good order through the snowy period.

Staying on the subject of rail travel, I've been perusing the published intended route for the new High Speed 2 rail link. This will be passing through Killamarsh, Rother Valley and on to Catcliffe, not a million miles from me. There are quite a few of the old lines still extant but now used as nature routes for walkers and cyclists, including myself for training. Some of the viaducts, and even the old station at Killamarsh are still in situ. However, it seems that these old routes are not suitable for high speed rail travel and hence the new rail route being built alongside. I think this is an exciting time for regeneration and investment though I understand the concerns of those who will be affected by compulsory purchases. From what I have seen of the plans, my area is not that affected other than the building of new viaducts at Rother Valley, Renishaw and Catcliffe.

The fomer Killamarsh Central Station (www.geograph.org.uk)

Anyway, with the snow having subsided enough and when I did manage to get the van on to the road, opposite the still snowy hale-baled field, I was distracted by two pigs humping in a farm yard whilst another watched on. I guess there isn’t much else to do in a snowy pig sty. I deduced a voyeuristic pig is bound to be a much colder than two humping ones though.

 ...........................

The Who are coming to play Quadraphenia at Sheffield Arena. I have seen them perform a couple of times and am weighing up whether or not I can justify spending £60 (for a cheap seat) to go and see them again. Tickets go on sale this Friday. Dilemma!

……………..

As for my training regime,  I haven’t managed to do any cycling and couldn’t get to do Park Run at the weekend but I made up for it with resistance rope work, a 1km stint in the pool and a very muddy sub 1-hour cross country 10km. I have shaved and had a hair cut so maybe it was streamling that got me the decent time.

Man Beats Dog With Stick...

...at Park Run...

...in the Snow

Swim-Golf is a great way to focus on stroke technique | Triathlon Training Notes

Swim-Golf is a great way to focus on stroke technique | Triathlon Training Notes

Snow Wonderings

You may remember my post last year about hay bales. Well, there is still a field that I pass each morning with dozens of uncollected bales from harvest time. The new crop is growing around them and I am wondering why these haven’t been wrapped and stored as usual. They are now covered in snow and must surely be rotting. Has something happened to the farmer I wonder? I have been unable to take a decent photograph as the country road to the side doesn’t have any laybys to pull in and stop. It’s a spectacular winter scene though. I will try and persist to get that photograph.

I was 6 seconds off going sub-25mins on Park Run at the weekend but that’s still two 5km personal bests in as many weeks. To say how ill and rubbish I have been feeling, this new level of fitness I am attaining is quite remarkable. I am more focussed on technique and pacing in my cross training these days. I still need to speed up in the pool and that will come as my strength and technique improve. I've been doing a bit of science and maths too, plotting graphs based on my velocities and stroke rate. It's interesting seeing how it looks on paper!

 The cycling is dependent on the roads being ice free.

So far, I’ve registered for Aquathlons (400m swim in to a 5km run) at Halesowen, Burntwood, Sandwell, Wombourne and Wrekin College plus the Ashington Triathlon (400m swim, 20km cycle, 5km run). The Ashington event will be my first visit to my family ancestral home. I’m going to take Dad along with me to be my tour guide.

As well as sprint triathlons at Southwell, Lincoln, Woodall Spa, Wombourne and Rother Valley, I will be competing in various Masters swimming events plus a couple of open water swims throughout the year.

I’m really looking forward to the start of the new season.

Turning Up the Heat

Athleticism..

Despite my abdominal strain and niggling calf, I’ve been feeling really strong of late.

I really look forward to the Saturday morning Park Run and went sub-26 mins last week. I’ve picked out a new pace setter to help me go even faster and closer to my sub-25 mins next target. Bring it on.

Sundays I have been doing some interval running work around Rother Valley and Killamarsh. It’s approximately an 8.5km round trip. I’ve surprised myself that even after a hard run I can still finish with an uphill sprint. It’s very pleasing.

I’ve also swapped pools for my swimming sessions. I’ve been concentrating on stroke technique more than strength lately but I think it’s time to dig the resistance rope out again to build on my forearms. To swim fast you need a good underwater pull (as well as reducing water drag through streamlining). To this end, I’ve been doing some butterfly stroke which is something I haven’t done since the Summer. I think I’ve only ever swam butterfly once competitively in an individual medley event when I was a child. It’s a killer but great for strength building. I might end up Mr V-Shape yet. Certainly the abs are coming on.

I’ve toyed with the idea of getting a turbo trainer for my bicycle. I’ve read good and bad reviews about various makes that would enable me to spin indoors during the icy and dangerous weather. I’ve not made a decision yet but I’ve definitely decided to go on some Sheffield CTC trips starting next week. These are organised cycle runs which should help me with technique and endurance. I’m looking forward to getting back on the bike.

It’s time to start booking my 2013 events.

Music….

I play with the live setup of Tokyo Witch Hunt and the new album, Eclectic Electric, is available from the usual digital download stores and the reviews are positive. I don’t do Facebook, but you can keep up to date with what’s happening chez TWH via www.facebook.com/tokyowitchhunt or www.tokyowitchhunt.com

And finally…

I have hot water and heat again!

Tokyo Witch Hunt: We're on iTunes!

Tokyo Witch Hunt Live! -  L-R Nina, Crash and Izzie

Izzie has confirmed that the Tokyo Witch Hunt album has hit the iTunes store. This is the ONLY time you will see me on an Apple-related website (so worth getting your cash out for the rarity aspect!)

You can find and buy my 79p effort , Girl Star, here.

The full album details can be found in the link below......

Tokyo Witch Hunt: CONFIRMED iTUNES DETAILS and other stores.: Hi Guys, We hope you had a  very sparkly Christmas and wish you a very prosperous New Year.  iTunes has now got it's act together and w...

Dashing and Splashing, Darling?

Come back with my presents! - Christmas Day 5km Park Run

The final time I was beaten by Pink Stick Insect

I have been stood staring in the mirror having an Alistair Darling pensive moment (pondering why I have gone grey haired early in life yet my eyebrows haven't).

Good news.

My blood tests came back fine but it could be months before I'm rid of whatever is gnawing away at my insides.

Calisthenics have been prescribed for my strain, plus more swimming.


Been focussing on improving my stroke in the pool as my strength is improving. Swim slow to swim fast. My nephew is a GB swimmer and he laughed at some photos of my technique so I'm going to start from scratch! I've been diving off the garden steps on to the patio to practice my starts. He's trying to convince me to change to the new "Sprint" block start that athletes do on the track. I prefer the grab start. We shall see.

Still got a leaking boiler and waiting on a new part. Oh, and the roof is still leaking too.

Xmas Eve in the Hollin Bush

3.40pm and the reason why X is feeling flat... A to B: Is X still on those anti-depressurants?

So this is Christmas?

Ok, so it's Christmas.

I haven't written a card or bought a present yet. My boiler has leaked from the loft in to the spare room. My bay window has sprung a leak too. I have no heating or hot water as I can't find an available plumber. If I need a part for the boiler, the trade store will be closed for Christmas. I am waiting on results for blood tests and I have to go back to see the doctor next week. I got soaked putting up sheeting on the bay window roof and I missed Park Run as a result.

Great!

Happy Christmas Everyone.

My iTunes recording - Girl Star

One of my compositions and recordings,"Girl Star", is being released this Monday, 17 December, via iTunes and other non-Apple monopolised web outlets.

Eclectic Electric by Tokyo Witch Hunt - available 17 Dec 2012

If you like a bit of dance, trance, glitching and synthed-up bass, then this is for you. Sensei Izzie provides the vocals and it is available as a Tokyo Witch Hunt individual track download or as part of the full "Eclectic Electric" album download.

Girl Star and the other 13 album tracks can be previewed here at the wwwTokyoWitchHunt.com website.

Please have a listen then buy!   

Cheers!

What's up Doc?

I’ve had an unscheduled trip to see my doctor.

Twice a year I have to go to see the practice nurse for routine blood pressure checks and usually everything is fine. However, although the blood pressure itself was fine, the nurse was concerned enough about my recent but ongoing health issues to refer me for a same-day appointment with the doctor. Without the graphic detail, let’s just say that these are “mens” issues that caused the “C” word to be mentioned. I’m quite philosophical about my health so I underwent a routine check today because I’ve had persistent symptoms that have been nagging for six weeks now. Rubber gloves off, the doctor was reasonably confident that there is nothing sinister at work and I am likely to suffering from a post-viral infection, plus, it looks like I have a strain of some sort down there. However, I have to go for blood tests and come back to see the doctor at Christmas for another check.

My doctor is a triathlete so he knows the score exactly when it comes to injuries in the relevant areas, the strain being a likely result of such activities.  Hopefully, the other problem is just a stubborn bug that is lingering inside me. The blood tests should put the main worry to rest.

Anyway, I’ve felt a lot better than I did when I first came down with my problems. My appetite is slightly improved and my weight hasn’t dropped any further. This has meant that I could take part in the Wombourne Aquathlon and the South Yorkshire Masters Swimming Meet at Ponds Forge in Sheffield. I actually won a heat at Ponds Forge (though my overall times were abysmal). I also did my first Park Run in a month last weekend too despite the icy conditions.

My winter is going to be spent building stamina, strength and endurance. 

Watch out for me in 2013!

50m  Breast stroke - South Yorkshire Masters

Winning the 50m Freestyle heat at Ponds Forge

Out of the pool into the icy cold air at the Wombourne Aquathlon

Crash and Burn

It has been a difficult couple of weeks.

I have been unwell and I don’t do illness as a rule. However, I have been knocked for six with this particular problem. I’ve lost half a stone in a week and although I’m on the mend I still feel weak.

The long and short of this is that my fitness has gone through the floor. I did an Aquathlon in Burntwood and my first swimming Masters event in Derby during my illness when I should really have pulled out of them. Not surprisingly, I bombed in both. I got a worst ever time for my 5k in the Aquathlon. The swimming was a disaster.

I am 2 weeks alcohol-free and not missing it in the slightest. The appetite is only just starting to return and the strength to do anything.

I have another Aquathlon this week. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing it but as I mentioned above, I don’t do illness.

Enough is Enough

Hand Paddling  - www.waterbloggedtriathlete.com

It's a busy time. I am juggling a hectic work schedule, studies and my own personal health agenda at the minute.

I will be taking leave of Tokyo Witch Hunt until the Spring after our next gig to free up some time. You can still keep up with all the news of what's happening though via Tokyo Witch Hunt's website here.

Following on from last blog posting, I thought rather than re-type my thoughts, I would share with you an (edited) email that I sent this afternoon. I'm going to bust my spleen at this rate.

P

Twice this week I have been asked not to use hand paddles in the pool on the grounds of health and safety.

The first time was in the "Splash" session when one pool attendant did not seem to have a problem with this. When the second attendant came on duty I was told that there were too many children in the pool for me to use them. I consider myself conscientious and considerate of other pool users. However, it would appear that health and safety is subjective as to who is on poolside duty and therefore, sadly, inconsistent. That should be more of a worry for you than my low risk activity.

The second time was today when I was in "Lane" session. This time I was in the "Fast", empty to lane to myself, yet I was told I was a risk to those in other adjacent lanes!

Frankly, this has gone beyond a joke and I am quite prepared to take this up with X management and beyond if necessary.

To set out the facts in perspective;

I have suffered kicks from other swimmers in adjacent lanes, locker keys worn on wrists scratching my face, jewelery catching me, balls on the head, legs deliberately pulled by other swimmers to name but a few issues that are to the detriment of my health and safety in the pool. I have been uncomplaining and all have gone unchallenged by pool staff. Nevertheless, I have just got on with what I intend to do in the pool, swim because that is pool life and always has been! Swimming is hazardous per se and short of the primary and voluntary risk we all take of turning up and drowning, I can live and put up with these things. That's what swimming involves and of course it should have it's fun element too and rightly so..........

.....When I first started coming back to S a couple of months ago, I told you that I compete in triathlons and masters swimming events. I'm a club member but my work times mean that I have to set my own schedule for training and therefore have to do it locally. However, as I set out in my feedback form which I handed in to G today,  the "serious" swimmer is being precluded from doing just that, serious swimming.

.....you know well that swimming has a serious side as well as a fun side. I am partial to both, but I refuse to be precluded from the serious element on an arbitrary and nonsensical argument of health and safety. As I have given in the examples above, there has been more of a danger to me from other "swimmers" at S than there is ever going to be from me to them. As far as the hand paddle argument is concerned, I am not the first to challenge this on the pretext of a health and safety issue. Indeed, it has gone as far as the Health and Safety Executive. 

Look at this link.http://www.hse.gov.uk/myth/myth-busting/2012/case053-swimmingpool.htm

You will see the total similarity, even so far as the suggested solution is concerned. ....If you can show me a recent Risk Assessment regarding the specific use of hand paddles carried out at S with recommended Control Measures resulting from it that predate my last two visit to S then I would be happy to see them.

The Duty Manager, J, at first said I could not use the hand paddles in my empty lane. When I questioned him on this, he relented and said I could continue and that the matter was under review for perhaps a special lane provision for those wanting to use them. This has obviously come to a head as a result of my challenge the first time around. However, I am not confident in the slightest that X/S will be able to justify a session or even a lane given over to someone using hand paddles as J discussed with me. How many paddle users are there other than myself? Few, if any. I'm not so selfish, nor do I expect any pool to meet the needs of just one person alone. Therefore, it would appear that I am flogging a dead horse as it stands. That said, and as I have mentioned above, I am quite prepared to make a lot of noise on this matter until a justifiable and rational policy is put in place with respect to "serious" swimmers. There are busier pools than S that do not prohibit hand paddles whatever the session.

I am not trying to be awkward. I am only looking for rationality and proportionality. I enjoy swimming at S and hope to continue to do so. Therefore, I will be back with my paddles, drag parachute and pull buoy next week and do not expect any more of this nonsense. There will be public ramifications otherwise because, as you will note from the tenor of this email, my frustration has boiled over.

Regards,

A

An Unhealthy and Unsafe Week

I'm typing whilst plugged in to a TENS machine attached to my hamstring and sniffling away with a cold.

I spent Halloween at my mothers. She'd done a good job of decorating the house with skeletons, skull candles and such like. It was rather a damp night so that would explain the lack of Trick or Treaters. Had a nice homemade stew.

On Friday, whilst I was having the van fitted with a new exhaust and ball joint arm, I wandered in to town. I bought  a pocket fm radio for 99p and sat listening to that whilst having a coffee and reading the Swimming Times. Interesting article in it about the Rother Valley Open Water weekend that I attended.

Yesterday I took part in the Virgin Active Indoor Triathlon. I'd suffered a bad cramp episode in my hamstring in the pool earlier in the week which had left me with a pulled muscle sensation. I was a little wary of going back to strenuous activity so soon after but nevertheless I headed off to Richard Branson's parlour of track suited women in makeup sat chatting whilst sipping lattes.

I hate gyms, especially private membership ones. I view them as posy palaces for Nikeheads and Diadora dolly birds that are too stupid to realise that you don't need a gym to get fit or be healthy. On the Tribesports website I am a proud member of the Get Fit Without Joining a Gym Tribe.

I did the 2.5k treadmill run in 12.44 followed by 10k on the bike spinning thingy in 18.30. I am rubbish on the bike and it didn't help that I damaged my hamstring further because the saddle was too low for my leg extension yet the console was too high for my reach. Being a now quasi-serious triathlete, things like saddle and handlebar height are important to me. The angle and degree of leg extension when pedalling is unique to each individual and paramount when determining maximum effort and power if not to cause injury. My leg is now paying the price for those stupid spinning machines.

To quite literally add further insult to injury, the swim leg took place last instead of first. It was a triathlon where all the events were in reverse order. This was because (and yes, this really is advertised on the Virgin Active website) "to avoid our nice dry clubs getting wet"!

I completed the 400m in a very steady 8.46 giving me an overall time of 40 mins. Out of the 3000 or so competitors I came 1600ish. Fairly pleased with that given that I was full of cold and one-legged in effort.

I went back to my usual pool this morning to do some strength work on my arms using hand paddles.I'd been using them for half an hour when the shift change life guard told me that because I was in the splash session and that there was too many children around I couldn't use them on grounds of health and safety.

I stomped/hobbled off back to the changing room ranting about being hit on the head by a beach ball and what about my health and safety and right to swim blah blah blah! Ordinarily I would have been in the lane swim session earlier in the morning but I was up late after marshalling at the community Guy Fawkes bonfire the night before. Yes, I volunteered and did my bit for the community and made sure that the kids had a safe and pleasant evening yet I was repaid with a health and safety lecture in the pool the following morning for using a swimming training aid.

Paradoxical in the extreme.